More snapshots, clips and stories….
This week, my autobiographical journey in snapshots and clips has lead me to pull this cooky DVD (sorry about the quality) out of near obscurity. I’ve finally managed to convert it to mp4 and as I rewatched it for the first time in over a decade, I was reminded why the past 10 years have been such an uphill battle. Something happened to me back in 2011 that I’ll soon have the courage to share but it cast a veil over a part of myself that may seem like it’s been resurfacing but in fact has been but a shadow of what I once carried in the way of discipline, determination and confidence. Believe it or not, there was in fact a time when I used to practice self validation and it allowed me to create things without all the unnecessarily analytical fuss and head noise. (don't get carried away...that doesn't mean there was no head noise lol) I’m being reminded that the formula I now seek, is a formula I'd once built and succeeded at using. I used to trust my intuition on a whole different level, I used to make decisions that I’d cringe at today. I was shameless in the face of what I thought some may consider cheeseball artistry or even sell-out western entertainment. I actually wasn’t concerned as much about everyone loving me (again, don't get carried away, this is all relative ;)), I just wanted them to come to the show where I could convince them that this was what I did and that if I believed it hard enough, they would as well. I was braver but also less wise, less spiritual….more self-centred and demanding….so I marvel at the idea that today’s wisdom and less selfish approach to life could also birth the self doubt and insecurities that I’ve been living with as of late. This ‘rewind therapy’ has brought a little magic into my life and taught me not to learn but to remember. So, I'll continue to tell these stories and continue to remember.......
Back in 2001 a few months before 9/11, I was still in Amman, Jordan, waiting for things to get finalized so I could immigrate to Vancouver. It had already been close to 2.5 years since I’d applied and for anyone who doesn’t know, it’s the lengthiest application process known to man…daunting and intimidating beyond anything I’d experienced or ever will again. I was on pins and needles and as I waited, I began to get antsy. One evening, as I was watching a little piano bar choir recital at Nabil Sawalha’s Rosana Cafe, I decided to put on a show. I approached Nabil (who, for those who don’t know, was part of one of Amman’s most beloved and successful comedy duos, “Nabil ou Hisham”….we knew each other because I was also a performer in our small town and my mom happened to be his daughter Lara’s teacher…..
Lara Sawalha
, very young at the time, would end up becoming a big part of my social and performance life after blossoming into one of the coolest humans I’d ever had the pleasure to know and work with). So, I approached him and proposed this idea that I’d not only love to put on a killer show there but that I’d love to help turn his cafe into a cute little dinner theatre, cabaret-style, construction and all. He was into it and we set a date right then and there and I got to work. I wanted to put on a show in 2 acts that allowed me to share songs that told stories, with dance and satire sprinkled throughout that touched on issues of the day. I wanted it to be funny, weird, touching and honest. I managed to be more myself in that environment than I’d ever been before and found a way to talk about everything that had been on my mind (to a certain extent lol)…maybe knowing that I’d be moving to Canada made it easier to push the envelope.
Obsessed with Bob Fosse at the time, I decided to call it SNAP! which ironically doubled as a mental health commentary on how I handle stress!
At the time, professional dancers were almost nonexistent in town so I decided to hold auditions at a high school and pulled together a fun little team that would sing and dance their little hearts out and make this little distraction a reality for all of us. My friend Monica, who’d been taking dance with me wound up doing the show as well and the team was complete.
For anyone who knows me, this may not come as a surprise but I’m a chronic perfectionist and though this was a small intimate room that held 65 people, I just had to go the full distance and treat it like the biggest show on earth. I signed with a management company
Ramzi Halaby
, hired the top sound and lighting people, found an accomplished jazz pianist (Omar Al Faqir) that brought these arrangements to life, brought in the lovely Hind Dajani
to make all the costumes, I even ordered shoes, wigs, hats, posters etc from abroad. Needless to say, I went a little overboard and never broke even but it was all worth it, plus, the glue that held it all together was my sister from another mother, Rasha Nazer Khalil (my first cousin) who I’d grown up with and often dreamed I’d be able to work with in this capacity. She took the role of stage manger and was the best damage controlager I’ve ever known. Every time I SNAPed, she reigned me in. Plus, I’d hired someone as detail oriented as I was that also knew me inside and out. It was a match made in heaven. After 2 months of rehearsals, press and delays, we finally opened and many who came, came again and again. I knew then and there that that room and that setting would forever take precedence over any large theatre experience when it came to the connection and intimacy I craved from my audience. It really was the perfect way to preoccupy my antsy mind but naturally, I replaced the antsiness with a considerable dose of perfectionist anxiety, winding up in the hospital for a few days, having to push my opening. If you’re really nice, I maaay tell you that story sometime, it’s a painful hoot!
(to be continued)
So, I’m finding myself dying to get into a lot more detail as I relive these days but I’m going to stop for today and post more stories about SNAP! over the course of the month with new clips from the show.
This one's a clip of our fun Elton John medley performed in the first act....featuring Monica Schulz, Jennifer Glynn, Katie Bernhart and Wonho Chung, who would eventually go on to become a well known standup comedian!
Apologies about the video quality (I have no idea why it's so bad) For the young'uns, sorry, we didn’t have iPhones back then. We’d barely had cell phones for 5 years.
Love. xx
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